


We were there

by Hotdaddywithgoodstories



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Sburb, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Yaoi, davejohn - Freeform, johndave - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8415220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotdaddywithgoodstories/pseuds/Hotdaddywithgoodstories
Summary: Well this is hopefully gonna be nostalgic and melcalony, not too emo!





	1. Chapter 1

It all ended so quickly...

Sometimes I look back and I wonder if anything really changed; even though most often i feel as though the past was teared from the rim of my palm.

I laugh.

If dave was here, he would have teased me for saying such things, the depth of my words were growing like icicles and each day apart from him made me sound ironically, more like him.

It was as if my subconscious was reaching out for him.  
In each dark space I hoped he was hiding from me, but the truth is this whole time I've been hiding from him.

I've been hiding part of myself.

In denial, I lied constantly.To him. To my friends.To myself. I never knew lying would hurt so much.The truth claws at my insides trying to escape. 

It didn't realize until the moment, after 3 years of relentless rejecting him.I was so busy with my own internal dilemmas that I couldn't realize the one right before my eyes- He was gone. Mostly metaphorically but also literally. We had become separated for 3 years. All our time together had almost vanished from my mind but when my heart ached it was undeniable, the feelings I held for him. For a blind second, I never once thought about all the pain he had experienced. It was if our paths were parallel, never to completely overlap. When he loved me, I was lost. Now I realize I love him, he's... It all rushed to my head, and not the one you are expecting. The large one placed remotely on my shoulders -or at least was on my head. I think after seeing Dave vigorously thrust his tongue down karkat's throat; it broke, along with my heart.

 

I didn't know what to say, I suppose I was thankful that I hadn't reached a couple minutes later,,,  
I might have lost all hopes on life after beholding such a sight.  
Even now, I'm still in shock.  
After all that time, I didn't see something so amazing in front of me.  
Dave was like the ocean, and I was a boat.  
He held me up and supported me but I didn't notice  
Until he was completely gone from under me.  
It's like nicolas in vampire kiss, he didn't realise the full potential of alva until she was gone, I guess he really didn't get through to her in the end heh  
.... Well the truth is about dave, a part of me thought he'd always be there waiting for me, I was foolish and selfish.

 

Anyway a year has passed from then,  
I started avoiding dave, I thought it would only be troublesome for me to hang around, I need to time to sort out my feelings even though every-time he called my name,  
My heart clenched like a naive teenage girl.  
I didn't want to interfere with his new relationship,  
It's not like I could even if I wanted to Karkat and Dave seem far too in love for me to have any bearing. And That's okay... I'm okay with that... I will move on too. 

I cringe listening to my thoughts, I've turned into a character from one of those drama shows where love triangles appear everywhere lol.

Let's start this again,  
My name is John Egbert and today is my 18th birthday,  
The game has been won, everything has returned to normal now that the world has been reset and I am ready for anything that comes my way. I mean me and my friends defeated Lord English, there's nothing out there we can't defeat.

Heartbreak has nothing on me

As i walk along the strangely familiar streets it's as if nothing changed, I remember the times I enjoyed the snow with my friends. My friends. My friend. Dave.  
I can't help but think of him, I feel exhausted, I wish we could go back to normal, but to him I doubt anything has changed. He probably suspects nothing, he didn't notice me that day, as expected based on how BUSY he was.  
They probably did THAT. AHHHHH! no, I don't want to think about that. That's the last thing I need right now. Ugh I'm both happy my friend scored and jealous that it wasn't me he scored with. I'm becoming quite pathetic, maybe I'm approaching this all wrong. Who knows.

I plod closer to my door, tears sliding down my cheeks. This is a mess. If only Terezi was here, her cool and calm atmosphere would tone my emotions down but it's been a while since she disappeared to look for HER. I admire her bravery but vriska could be anywhere, when the game ended she was in a different realm,.. IF she even exists in this world is the question. I cover my face, tears gush down my face. Things have gone back to normal,but It still doesn't feel right.There were so many different worlds where my friends died and even I die, so why can't I be grateful for one where we all are alive. I don't understand myself. I seem to retain some of memories from old timelines; the horror, the love. I remember the last time I saw Vriska, in another timeline where we played in the snow outside my house. I also remember the timelines where me and dave...  
I shouldn't remember this. Even If I really wanted to I probably wouldn't be able to. My memory of the game has become somewhat distant, over time. Maybe it is better this way. Maybe one day it'll completely vanish. As if nothing ever happened. 

I hang my head and swing my door open.  
Dad is not home, infact recently he's been prompting me to move, He says my night-time screams are disturbing ~Although I can't exactly help it.  
I decide for a while I want to release my struggles as tears, allowing my mind to be free.

I take a few steps and around the corner, in my kitchen I see a figure, one that haunts me every night and day.  
The head swishes around, I have no doubt to who it is. After all, I could recognize Dave from 10 miles away.  
He stares at me, I wait expecting a smile in return for mine.

...silence... 

What's going on? Why is he staring? Has he already forgotten me? Why would he know where I live or my birthday then? Perhaps It is just a coincidence...

OH! SHIT I'VE BEEN CRYING DAMMIT...  
I pelt my body towards the exit, running as fast as possible. This is not the time for confrontation.  
-Why is he in my house??-  
After two blocks I stop running, I look up from my recovery position and I see his angered face glaring back at me.  
I try to run away, but he grabs my hand,  
"haha hey dude, what's.... up...?" I blab out nervously

"Why were you crying? What's wrong?" 

"eh? What are you talking about I have hay-fever, remember?"

-Silence-

He slows pulls me in closer, he holds me in a tight embrace.  
I feel flustered, I shouldn't feel excited and happy about a simple hug.  
I got so caught up in the moment that I forgot my place,  
I don't belong in his life. I can't honestly be his best friend, knowing I will always want more. My impure feelings will eat away ate me like maggots to a pie.

"Dave. Get off!"

I push him away.

He holds onto me like I'm something fragile about to crack. My heart can't take this. He treats me too gently, please hurt me so I can leave and not feel bad about it.

"John... Tell me everything. You're hiding something"

"...It doesn't matter"

"It does matter! We're friends, aren't we? Friends share the weight of their troubles"

"...Are we? "

Dave release his hold, yet grabs my shoulders.  
His grip is tight, it feels as if his nails could sink into my skin.

"John? Why are you talking like that? Today is your birthday! Don't be like this, let's go enjoy your party. We can talk about whatever is bothering you later"

I nod in silence. I'm lost for words. All I really want to say is 'please reject me so I can stop hopelessly loving you' but he's right today is my birthday and rejection will only make it worse.

On the way back, I walk behind him. Silently following him.  
Yet every now and then he stops and waits for me to catch up. I'm doing this on purpose, don't make it harder for me, stupid.  
Even though he acts like a smart ass he's an imbecile at times.

When we get to my house, I enter my room and everyone jumps out at me.  
"SURPRISE!' HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

I'm not really surprised because Dave already blew it but I smile, it really did make me happy to see everyone together, I just wished I'd been in a better state to see it.

I rush towards the cake, I cut a mediocre slice and abscond to my bed to gobble it up.  
I feel satisfied.. It tasted nice and I could tell that Jane made it with lots of love.

Yet somehow when I watch across the room at dave, snuggling with karkat.

The taste runs bitter.

I hate myself for being this petty.

Tonight, this ends... 

After everyone leaves, I tell dave to wait because I need to tell him something; He agrees.

"I noticed you've been distant lately and it feels like you're avoiding me. I suppose your gonna explain your reason, right? It'll even explain this morning?" 

"I love you."

"lol stop joking and tell me"

"I am in love with you, for the past 4 years I, john the fricken eggiest Egbert have been hopelessly yearning for you..." Dave's facial expression shares a glimpse of what resembled remorse or perhaps sorrow for his pitiful pal, aka me. "... I know you can't accept me, so I want you to reject me, so that I can stop thinking of only you all the time. So I can stop hating myself for being too late. So that everything can return to normal" 

Dave grabs a plate and drops it on the floor,  
"This plate is broken, no matter how much glue or tape you use, it won't ever change. But the content is still the same, it still has a flower on it no matter what."

I watch him intensively.  
What does he mean. Is years worth of friendship flushed down the drain over one pathetic attempt of a confession?  
No. Dave is a loving and caring creature of the sort, despite his initial awkwardness he's a great dude - well, the greatest. I begin to truly wonder what he meant, I don't think Dave knows what he meant.  
He's the type of guy to learn jokes but never understand them, flashbacks appear in my head of the times we shared harmonizing our comedic masterpieces together. I start to laugh, hysterically, dave really has the key to my heart, there's really no one else like him in my world.

He grabs me by the hand.  
"Jeez... This is all so complicated. But when you talk baring your heart on your sleeve, presenting it to me like a token of love. For only a moment, I wish I could see through the pumping instrument. To see what makes you think I could ever reject you. I, too have loved you for so long. Even rose, knows you're the love of my life; without me telling her a single word. You never seemed to get the jist of my actions, those slightest touches whenever I could, the lingering glimpses I stole when no-one was watching. I told myself, if it wasn't this life, it would be the next but I'll really always be ready to wife yo ass"

"DAVE THIS IS SERIOUS HAHAH Oh My jegus"

"I am so serious right now. I do love you and If you want, I'm willing to ask you to prom lemme go make a cheesy banner.  
"What about karkat- I thought- "

"John. Me and Karkat, Our relationship... is kisemesis


	2. stay up past midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DAVE JOHN AND ANGRY TROLL CONTINUED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive my spelling pls

After everyone left, I was left alone with my thoughts to go over what Dave had told me. He and Karkat are in a kismesis relationship. So I guess they share a hatred but also attraction.It's normal in troll culture for them to 'date' multiple people based on them being in different quadrants but for me, I didn't want to share Dave at all. I wanted him all to myself- but Unfortunately my timing was too bad. It seems we'll have to remain in this unsure state for a while. Until we can find an arrangement. But It seems exhausting to have my boyfriend have a boyfriend.

...

A few weeks have passed,,, it all feels like a blur. Mostly because i've been missing school and sleeping all day. It's been a while since i've seen anyone other than my father. I've been low-key avoiding Dave since that day. I've always loved watching movies with love triangle, it always seemed to spice up the action! But being in one, feels like choking on air. I'm not enough for Dave? Is it because I'm too late? is this my punishment? Or we're they bound to end up with each other from the beginning...

Stop it! 

Do you think, even for one second, he thought of you when holding someone else?

 

STOP IT! 

 

My mind is taking over! This feels horrible! I feel a sudden explosion set off in my stomach. I leap off my bed and run towards the bathroom. My guts begin to ...Bleurgh 

GFDJKSNVCFXUIHJKVHCF XZYOCIJFKLNDBHVJXGHUIJCKNFBVDCGXHCIDNBVFXGHINLDBJ KVHFEGUDHSXNKCXNBJCKVHFGGSVDBHKJ CUHJBDKVHUJBFHIEYTUYEIOWTIOUGHJVDBBV,MBGHEYFHJBCKJBDGKSUIYHJBXNJAHYOUADGCVDHCBGSUSKVCXHJDIHUFDBVJNKIFHUDCXNJKLJSFKHBVN,LJFUHDKVJCNCKJFVKBC NVDHIVKJHIMDGBJFHVJNCLKJSAFHDKBZXC N,LKJCDFIHUKVJBZ NLJCIFHDUVSKBJNHFUDVSKBJNLDHIUSZCKNLKDVHBJCMEUDCHJXNZKICUHDXKIUCDJXNKIJCNXZMKJUHNC MXZKIJUHCN VMKLXIJVN MKLXJDSCMXLZIJVHN CMKCNVFBJ CNZBVJ CXNUS UHJSHBJCNXKIHUVBJ NCUSIDVNXKSDJFKSJVHNUSHFVJHFBJVNCJHCDBJ N US GDVHJDHOIUB VJDSNCHDUB US UDHJUHJCKDISHVUBJ NCKDHIUVBJC NVJB YOU WDJDHEFWGUHBVSJDNOIVUSBJC NDJHUVBJNC SJIH HIM HUBJKVHIEFWHUDSVBJCNHIGUBFNHVSFBUGJ HVDU US gychudvgbc jkdvughbc jh you you you you you you you YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU uisdftyuwEIFVKJDBCTYFGCHV JGYFDCHJKDVGFYIUHJCVHJGFYTIEWYHACSJHGADSCH\JGAUSHC

for a SecOND it felt like i wAS a computEr that was Soaked in Water... Not even water, something more detrimental maybe Oil or acid.

 

For fucksake.  
Dave, you........ bitch shit fucker twat!!!!! What are you doing to me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> support me  
> comment ur opinion  
> tell me how shit it is  
> pls just speak ur mind

**Author's Note:**

> Hey babe was that trash?  
> Well this is only the beginning


End file.
